Andy Naselli

Thoughts on Theology

complementarianism

Must a Wife Always Follow Her Husband’s Leadership?

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Do you have a category for Abigail? Everything about the story in 1 Samuel 25 commends Abigail, who is a foil for her wicked and foolish husband Nabal. For example, verse 3 describes her as “intelligent and beautiful” and her husband as “surly and mean.”

(The below picture is from The Action Bible.)

I emailed this to a friend earlier this week:

I was just reflecting on the story of Nabal and Abigail in 1 Samuel 25. This nicely illustrates a difference between authoritarianism and complementarianism.

Authoritarianism would say that Abigail sinned by not “submitting” to Nabal since she sent David and his men a lavish gift without telling Nabal, who had expressly refused to give David and his men anything.

Complementarianism would commend Abigail for wisely not following her wicked husband and for shrewdly saving her household in a way that honored the Lord.

Are you aware of any books or articles making this connection? It’s an important one, I think, especially re how alleged complementarians (who are really authoritarians) encourage women to endure sinful abuse of various kinds in the name of submission.

The next day another friend of mine posted this from Nancy Wilson’s Building Her House: Commonsensical Wisdom for Christian Women:

The commands of submission and obedience are only difficult when we disagree with our husbands. If we agree with them and do what they say, it can hardly be called submission. Submission comes into play when we differ with them over an issue, but we defer to them and willingly give way.

But what about when the husband is in sin? This is a very important issue. What if the husband has adopted a wrong attitude and is heading in the wrong direction? Is a wife obligated to go along? It all depends.

[Read more…] about Must a Wife Always Follow Her Husband’s Leadership?

Courageous

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Last weekend my wife and I watched the film Courageous, which opens at 900 theaters nationwide on September 30.

Trailer

About the Film

Thoughts

  1. This is the best of the four films that Sherwood Pictures has produced in terms of filming, acting, and storyline.
  2. It focuses on multiple aspects of fatherhood and depicts that weighty responsibility as a high calling. It makes a strong counter-cultural statement about fathers courageously leading their homes rather than selfishly abdicating their responsibility. [Read more…] about Courageous

The Myth of Mutual Submission

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“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Eph 5:21).

This 11-page chapter (available for free as a PDF) concisely and convincingly explains why the phrase “mutual submission” is unhelpful at best:

Wayne Grudem, “The Myth of Mutual Submission as an Interpretation of Ephesians 5:21,” in Biblical Foundations for Manhood and Womanhood  (ed. Wayne Grudem; Foundations for the Family Series; Wheaton: Crossway, 2002), 221–31.

Outline: [Read more…] about The Myth of Mutual Submission

Mirror Reading

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Several years ago I took a class from an expert in Second Temple Judaism who made this argument on the first day of class:

The biblical text is always reacting against a certain set of assumptions, beliefs, or presuppositions, so when interpreting any biblical text, you must always ask, “What is this reacting against in its context?”

I raised my hand and asked follow-up questions to make sure I understood the argument correctly.

I wasn’t convinced then, and I’m not convinced now.

Here’s what three other New Testament scholars have written about this:

1. Bob Stein

Robert H. Stein, A Basic Guide to Interpreting the Bible: Playing by the Rules (2nd ed.; Grand Rapids: Baker, 2011), 205–6:

The Danger of a Mirror Reading of the Epistles

It is immediately apparent in reading the Epistles that their occasional nature assists the reader in reconstructing the situation in life for which they were written. [Read more…] about Mirror Reading

God, Make Me a Man

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Darrin Patrick, Church Planter: The Man, the Message, the Mission (Wheaton: Crossway, 2010), 12:

Being a man is about being tough and tender.

I have three beautiful daughters . . . . But I also have a son, Drew, and because of my keen awareness of and pastoral interaction with the cultural influence of Bans [i.e., “a hybrid of both boy and man,” p. 9], I know that my work is cut out for me when it comes to raising a godly man. As with all of us dads with similar aspirations, my only hope is the Holy Spirit. So I recently wrote a little prayer that reflects the kind of men we need. Drew and I pray this prayer together almost every night. It is a prayer for him and for me:

God, make me a man with thick skin and a soft heart. Make me a man who is tough and tender. Make me tough so I can handle life. Make me tender so I can love people. God, make me a man.

Watch Darrin explain that prayer from about 47:30 to 49:00 in the below video: [Read more…] about God, Make Me a Man

Pornography : Men :: Chick Flicks : Women

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That’s what Beth Spraul argues (with appropriate nuance) in “You’ve Got Lies: Chick Flicks and the World’s Approach to Men and Marriage,” a six-page PDF hosted by Capitol Hill Baptist Church in Washington D.C.

She proceeds to discsuss “three powerful lies communicated to and believed by women through this genre of ‘chick-flicks’ as well as ‘chick-lit’ (literature)”:

  • Lie #1: Men think of romance and relational intimacy exactly like women do!
  • Lie #2: If I marry the right man, all will be right in my life.
  • Lie #3: I will know that a man is right for me by feelings I get when I’m with him.

She closes by sharing her own courting experience.

Das ist gut, ja?

Voddie Baucham: What He Must Be

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Crossway has just published a provocative book:

Voddie T. Baucham Jr. What He Must Be: …If He Wants to Marry My Daughter. Wheaton: Crossway, 2009. [PDF of chapter 1]

Baucham explains what this book is about (p. 9):

My desire in this book is to kill two birds with one stone. First, I want to lay out a clear, balanced, realistic, biblical picture of what moms and dads should be looking for on behalf of their daughters and seeking to produce in their sons. . . .

In addition, I want to provide a road map for men who have a desire to lead their families biblically but simply do not know how.

He concludes (p. 206),

I intend to walk my daughter down the aisle one day. When I do, the minister is going to ask, “Who gives this woman to be married?” If I am going to answer, “I do” with a clear conscience, then I simply have no choice but to invest significant time into vetting any potential suitor. I cannot give my approval of a man whom God’s Word disqualifies. I love my daughter too much. I love my grandchildren too much. But most importantly, I love my Lord too much to settle for less.

The book is provocative in at least two ways: content and tone.

  1. Content: Baucham holds no punches when he describes what he thinks biblical manhood involves.
  2. Tone: Baucham is bold, confident, and direct. This is often refreshing, but to people in some contexts, this dogmatism will not be well received.

[Read more…] about Voddie Baucham: What He Must Be