Earlier this semester I read through the OT Apocrypha. I had read many parts of it before, but a good bit of it was fresh. One of my favorite stories that I had not heard before is the contest between King Darius’ three bodyguards. It’s witty and enjoyable. (And it would serve nicely as an illustration of “truth” in a sermon or lecture.)

Here’s the story from 1 Esdras 3:1–4:42 (NRSV).

The Debate of the Three Bodyguards (3:1-17)

Now King Darius gave a great banquet for all that were under him, all that were born in his house, and all the nobles of Media and Persia, and all the satraps and generals and governors that were under him in the hundred and twenty-seven satrapies from India to Ethiopia. They ate and drank, and when they were satisfied they went away, and King Darius went to his bedroom; he went to sleep, but woke up again.

Then the three young men of the bodyguard, who kept guard over the person of the king, said to one another, ‘Let each of us state what one thing is strongest; and to the one whose statement seems wisest, King Darius will give rich gifts and great honors of victory. He shall be clothed in purple, and drink from gold cups, and sleep on a gold bed, and have a chariot with gold bridles, and a turban of fine linen, and a necklace around his neck; and because of his wisdom he shall sit next to Darius and shall be called Kinsman of Darius.’

Then each wrote his own statement, and they sealed them and put them under the pillow of King Darius, and said, ‘When the king wakes, they will give him the writing; and to the one whose statement the king and the three nobles of Persia judge to be wisest the victory shall be given according to what is written.’ The first wrote, ‘Wine is strongest.’ The second wrote, ‘The king is strongest.’ The third wrote, ‘Women are strongest, but above all things truth is victor.’

When the king awoke, they took the writing and gave it to him, and he read it. Then he sent and summoned all the nobles of Persia and Media and the satraps and generals and governors and prefects, and he took his seat in the council chamber, and the writing was read in their presence. He said, ‘Call the young men, and they shall explain their statements.’ So they were summoned, and came in. They said to them, ‘Explain to us what you have written.’

[1] The Speech about Wine (3:18-24)

Then the first, who had spoken of the strength of wine, began and said: ‘Gentlemen, how is wine the strongest? It leads astray the minds of all who drink it. It makes equal the mind of the king and the orphan, of the slave and the free, of the poor and the rich. It turns every thought to feasting and mirth, and forgets all sorrow and debt. It makes all hearts feel rich, forgets kings and satraps, and makes everyone talk in millions. When people drink they forget to be friendly with friends and kindred, and before long they draw their swords. And when they recover from the wine, they do not remember what they have done. Gentlemen, is not wine the strongest, since it forces people to do these things?’ When he had said this, he stopped speaking.

[2] The Speech about the King (4:1-12)

4Then the second, who had spoken of the strength of the king, began to speak: ‘Gentlemen, are not men strongest, who rule over land and sea and all that is in them? But the king is stronger; he is their lord and master, and whatever he says to them they obey. If he tells them to make war on one another, they do it; and if he sends them out against the enemy, they go, and conquer mountains, walls, and towers. They kill and are killed, and do not disobey the king’s command; if they win the victory, they bring everything to the king—whatever spoil they take and everything else. Likewise those who do not serve in the army or make war but till the soil; whenever they sow and reap, they bring some to the king; and they compel one another to pay taxes to the king. And yet he is only one man! If he tells them to kill, they kill; if he tells them to release, they release; if he tells them to attack, they attack; if he tells them to lay waste, they lay waste; if he tells them to build, they build; if he tells them to cut down, they cut down; if he tells them to plant, they plant. All his people and his armies obey him. Furthermore, he reclines, he eats and drinks and sleeps, but they keep watch around him, and no one may go away to attend to his own affairs, nor do they disobey him. Gentlemen, why is not the king the strongest, since he is to be obeyed in this fashion?’ And he stopped speaking.

[3a] The Speech about Women (4:13-32)

Then the third, who had spoken of women and truth (and this was Zerubbabel), began to speak: ‘Gentlemen, is not the king great, and are not men many, and is not wine strong? Who is it, then, that rules them, or has the mastery over them? Is it not women? Women gave birth to the king and to every people that rules over sea and land. From women they came; and women brought up the very men who plant the vineyards from which comes wine. Women make men’s clothes; they bring men glory; men cannot exist without women. If men gather gold and silver or any other beautiful thing, and then see a woman lovely in appearance and beauty, they let all those things go, and gape at her, and with open mouths stare at her, and all prefer her to gold or silver or any other beautiful thing. A man leaves his own father, who brought him up, and his own country, and clings to his wife. With his wife he ends his days, with no thought of his father or his mother or his country. Therefore you must realize that women rule over you!

‘Do you not labor and toil, and bring everything and give it to women? A man takes his sword, and goes out to travel and rob and steal and to sail the sea and rivers; he faces lions, and he walks in darkness, and when he steals and robs and plunders, he brings it back to the woman he loves. A man loves his wife more than his father or his mother. Many men have lost their minds because of women, and have become slaves because of them. Many have perished, or stumbled, or sinned because of women. And now do you not believe me?

‘Is not the king great in his power? Do not all lands fear to touch him? Yet I have seen him with Apame, the king’s concubine, the daughter of the illustrious Bartacus; she would sit at the king’s right hand and take the crown from the king’s head and put it on her own, and slap the king with her left hand. At this the king would gaze at her with mouth agape. If she smiles at him, he laughs; if she loses her temper with him, he flatters her, so that she may be reconciled to him. Gentlemen, why are not women strong, since they do such things?’

[3b] The Speech about Truth (4:33-41)

Then the king and the nobles looked at one another; and he began to speak about truth: ‘Gentlemen, are not women strong? The earth is vast, and heaven is high, and the sun is swift in its course, for it makes the circuit of the heavens and returns to its place in one day. Is not the one who does these things great? But truth is great, and stronger than all things. The whole earth calls upon truth, and heaven blesses it. All God’s works quake and tremble, and with him there is nothing unrighteous. Wine is unrighteous, the king is unrighteous, women are unrighteous, all human beings are unrighteous, all their works are unrighteous, and all such things. There is no truth in them and in their unrighteousness they will perish. But truth endures and is strong for ever, and lives and prevails for ever and ever. With it there is no partiality or preference, but it does what is righteous instead of anything that is unrighteous or wicked. Everyone approves its deeds, and there is nothing unrighteous in its judgment. To it belongs the strength and the kingship and the power and the majesty of all the ages. Blessed be the God of truth!’ When he stopped speaking, all the people shouted and said, ‘Great is truth, and strongest of all!’

Zerubbabel’s Reward (4:42)

king and the nobles looked at one another; and he began to speak about truth: ‘Gentlemen, are not women strong? The earth is vast, and heaven is high, and the sun is swift in its course, for it makes the circuit of the heavens and returns to its place in one day. Is not the one who does these things great? But truth is great, and stronger than all things. The whole earth calls upon truth, and heaven blesses it. All God’s works quake and tremble, and with him there is nothing unrighteous. Wine is unrighteous, the king is unrighteous, women are unrighteous, all human beings are unrighteous, all their works are unrighteous, and all such things. There is no truth in them and in their unrighteousness they will perish. But truth endures and is strong for ever, and lives and prevails for ever and ever. With it there is no partiality or preference, but it does what is righteous instead of anything that is unrighteous or wicked. Everyone approves its deeds, and there is nothing unrighteous in its judgment. To it belongs the strength and the kingship and the power and the majesty of all the ages. Blessed be the God of truth!’ When he stopped speaking, all the people shouted and said, ‘Great is truth, and strongest of all!’

Then the king said to him, ‘Ask what you wish, even beyond what is written, and we will give it to you, for you have been found to be the wisest. You shall sit next to me, and be called my Kinsman.’ . . .