This accessible booklet came out at the end of last month:
Jim Newcomer. Help! I Can’t Forgive. Living in a Fallen World. Leominster, England: Day One, 2012.
It’s 64 pages, but its dimensions are only 5.6 x 4 inches. (Many paperbacks are about 8 x 5 inches.)
Newcomer unpacks and applies Matthew 18.
How do you know whether you should lovingly confront someone about an offense (pp. 54–55)?
- if the relationship is broken
- if it is a serious offense against someone else
- if the offender is in danger
When you say “I forgive you” to someone, what exactly are you promising (pp. 55–57)?
- I promise I will not hold this offense in my heart.
- I promise I will not spread this around to others.
- I promise I will not bring this up against you.
Newcomer recommends four books, two articles, and two websites for further help:
- Jay Adams, From Forgiven to Forgiving: Learning to Forgive One Another God’s Way (Amityville, NY: Calvary, 1994).
- Chris Brauns, Unpacking Forgiveness: Biblical Answers for Complex Questions and Deep Wounds (Wheaton: Crossway, 2008).
- John MacArthur, The Freedom and Power of Forgiveness (Wheaton: Crossway, 2009).
- Ken Sande, The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict (Grand Rapids: Baker, 2004).
- Tim Crater, “Counsel on Being Reconciled to Our Brother,” Journal of Pastoral Practice 5:3 (1982): 25–34.
- Tim Lane, “Pursuing and Granting Forgiveness,” Journal of Biblical Counseling 23:2 (2005): 52–59.
- Peacemaker Ministries
- Christian Counseling Education Foundation
This book is part of the new “Living in a Fallen World” series, edited by Paul Tautges (and endorsed by Wayne Mack). It’s basically DayOne’s version of the CCEF booklet series, though the “Living in a Fallen World” booklets are about twice as long (64 pages).
The “Living in a Fallen World” series currently has twenty-four booklets (with more on the way):
- Dave Coats, Help! My Teen Is Rebellious (2011)
- Rachel Coyle, Help! She’s Struggling with Pornography (2011)
- Brian Croft, Help! He’s Struggling with Pornography (2010)
- Adam Embry, Help! I Can’t Get Motivated (2011)
- Brenda Frields, Help! I Have Breast Cancer (2010)
- Glenda Hotton, Help! I Can’t Submit to My Husband (2012)
- Deborah Howard, Help! Someone I Love Has Alzheimer’s (2012)
- Deborah Howard, Help! Someone I Love Has Cancer (2010)
- Joel James, Help! I Can’t Handle All These Trials (2012)
- Joel James, Help! I’m Confused about Dating (2011)
- Ben Marshall, Help! My Teen Is Gay (2011)
- Shannon Kay McCoy, Help! I’m a Slave to Food (2011)
- Jim Newcomer, Help! I Can’t Forgive (2012)
- Jim Newheiser, Help! I Want to Change (2012)
- Jim Newheiser, Help! Someone I Love Has Been Abused (2010)
- Sue Nicewander, Help! I Feel Ashamed (2012)
- Mike Summers, Help! My Spouse Has Been Unfaithful (2010)
- Paul and Karen Tautges, Help! My Toddler Rules the House (2010)
- John Temple, Help! I’m Drowning in Debt (2011)
- Rick Thomas, Help! My Marriage Has Grown Cold (2010)
- Carol Trahan, Help! I’m a Single Mom (2011)
- Carol Trahan, Help! I Am Depressed (2012)
- Reggie Weems, Help! My Baby Has Died (2010)
- Reggie Weems, Help! I’m Living with Terminal Illness (2012)
Paul D. Adams says
Thanks for this pointer. I cannot recommend highly enough Chris Brauns’s book Unpacking Forgiveness. See my review (here) and a synthesis between Brauns’s work and N. T. Wright’s (here), and my two posts on Volf’s work Free of Charge (here and here).