How to Forgive

This accessible booklet came out at the end of last month:

Jim Newcomer. Help! I Can’t Forgive. Living in a Fallen World. Leominster, England: Day One, 2012.

It’s 64 pages, but its dimensions are only 5.6 x 4 inches. (Many paperbacks are about 8 x 5 inches.)

Newcomer unpacks and applies Matthew 18.

How do you know whether you should lovingly confront someone about an offense (pp. 54–55)?

  1. if the relationship is broken
  2. if it is a serious offense against someone else
  3. if the offender is in danger

When you say “I forgive you” to someone, what exactly are you promising (pp. 55–57)?

  1. I promise I will not hold this offense in my heart.
  2. I promise I will not spread this around to others.
  3. I promise I will not bring this up against you.

Newcomer recommends four books, two articles, and two websites for further help:

  1. Jay Adams, From Forgiven to Forgiving: Learning to Forgive One Another God’s Way  (Amityville, NY: Calvary, 1994).
  2. Chris Brauns, Unpacking Forgiveness: Biblical Answers for Complex Questions and Deep Wounds  (Wheaton: Crossway, 2008).
  3. John MacArthur, The Freedom and Power of Forgiveness (Wheaton: Crossway, 2009).
  4. Ken Sande, The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict (Grand Rapids: Baker, 2004).
  5. Tim Crater, “Counsel on Being Reconciled to Our Brother,” Journal of Pastoral Practice 5:3 (1982): 25–34.
  6. Tim Lane, “Pursuing and Granting Forgiveness,” Journal of Biblical Counseling 23:2 (2005): 52–59.
  7. Peacemaker Ministries
  8. Christian Counseling Education Foundation

This book is part of the new “Living in a Fallen World” series, edited by Paul Tautges (and endorsed by Wayne Mack). It’s basically DayOne’s version of the CCEF booklet series, though the “Living in a Fallen World” booklets are about twice as long (64 pages).

The “Living in a Fallen World” series currently has twenty-four booklets (with more on the way):

  1. Dave Coats, Help! My Teen Is Rebellious (2011)
  2. Rachel Coyle, Help! She’s Struggling with Pornography (2011)
  3. Brian Croft, Help! He’s Struggling with Pornography (2010)
  4. Adam Embry, Help! I Can’t Get Motivated (2011)
  5. Brenda Frields, Help! I Have Breast Cancer (2010)
  6. Glenda Hotton, Help! I Can’t Submit to My Husband (2012)
  7. Deborah Howard, Help! Someone I Love Has Alzheimer’s (2012)
  8. Deborah Howard, Help! Someone I Love Has Cancer (2010)
  9. Joel James, Help! I Can’t Handle All These Trials (2012)
  10. Joel James, Help! I’m Confused about Dating (2011)
  11. Ben Marshall, Help! My Teen Is Gay (2011)
  12. Shannon Kay McCoy, Help! I’m a Slave to Food (2011)
  13. Jim Newcomer, Help! I Can’t Forgive (2012)
  14. Jim Newheiser, Help! I Want to Change (2012)
  15. Jim Newheiser, Help! Someone I Love Has Been Abused (2010)
  16. Sue Nicewander, Help! I Feel Ashamed (2012)
  17. Mike Summers, Help! My Spouse Has Been Unfaithful (2010)
  18. Paul and Karen Tautges, Help! My Toddler Rules the House (2010)
  19. John Temple, Help! I’m Drowning in Debt (2011)
  20. Rick Thomas, Help! My Marriage Has Grown Cold (2010)
  21. Carol Trahan, Help! I’m a Single Mom (2011)
  22. Carol Trahan, Help! I Am Depressed (2012)
  23. Reggie Weems, Help! My Baby Has Died (2010)
  24. Reggie Weems, Help! I’m Living with Terminal Illness (2012)



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