Reju, Deepak. She’s Got the Wrong Guy: Why Smart Women Settle. Greensboro, NC: New Growth, 2017.
Deepak Reju (MDiv, PhD) is the pastor of biblical counseling and families for Capitol Hill Baptist Church in Washington, DC (Mark Dever is senior pastor), and president for the board of directors of the Biblical Counseling Coalition.
I process a lot of new books, and I often spend just a short time surveying a book before moving on to the next one. But sometimes a book draws me in and keeps me. This is one of those books. God has given my wife and me four daughters, so this topic is especially relevant for us.
This 16-page sample PDF includes the endorsements and other front matter along with the first chapter.
Part 2 is especially insightful: Reju explains ten different kinds of wrong guys that Christian women marry:
- The Control Freak
- The Promiscuous Guy
- The Unchurched Guy
- The New Convert
- The Unbeliever
- The Angry Man
- The Lone Ranger
- The Commitment-Phobic Man
- The Passive Man
- The Unteachable Guy
- The unspoken (and spoken) message from our culture is that to be in a dating relationship, and to make it last, a woman must have sex. (p. 3)
- Dating as a conservative Christian woman is hard. Dating as an intelligent, gifted, and self-confident Christian woman feels impossible. (p. 6)
- My girls are just entering elementary school, but you can already see the initial stages of them thinking that getting married is the most important thing in life. (p. 14)
- If a woman lets herself get emotionally attached to the wrong kind of guy, principles that she thought she would never compromise on—like looking for a mature, godly man—no longer are her first priority. Because the relationship is fun, the guy is courteous and kind, and he pays attention like no one else will, a woman lets her priorities slide. (p. 17)
- Premarital sex establishes a pattern where the wife doubts the husband’s integrity. (p. 51)
- Anger sets the tone of a home. If a father is ruled by anger, the wife and the children will live in fear of the father’s wrath. (p. 88)
- A biblically responsible man leads by expressing his intentions to the woman from the outset. (p. 103)
- Maybe he is nerdy, or not as outgoing as you wanted, or not as well-built as you hoped, or not as attractive as you thought, but he loves Jesus, he’s gracious, patient, and humble, and he’s deeply committed to you. Would that be enough for you? Pause and think about it for a moment. What do you value in a man? What really matters to you? (p. 135)