“A profound covenant relationship between one man and one woman—a cleaving to each other alone, in a one-flesh union—is God’s idea of the heart of the family. When this is broken by a tragic death or a tragic divorce, there may have to be single parent families. And God has been faithful to millions of mothers and fathers who have had to raise children alone. But God’s original purpose for the heart of the family was one man and one woman cleaving to each other as husband and wife and becoming one flesh in fruitful sexual union. In that way he meant to fill the earth with humans who image-forth his glory, and with couples whose covenant-relationship shows the world the way that God relates to his covenant people in love and faithfulness.”

Piper and Grudem’s definition of manhood and womanhood embraces both married and singled people: see pp. 28ff. here, esp. this bit on p. 30:

“Someone might ask: So is a woman masculine if she is a single parent and provides these same things for her children? Are these only for men to do? I would answer: A woman is not unduly masculine in performing these things for her children if she has the sense that this would be properly done by her husband if she had one, and if she performs them with a uniquely feminine demeanor.

“However, if a woman undertakes to give this kind of leadership toward her husband she would not be acting in a properly feminine way, but would be taking up the masculine calling in that relationship. If the husband is there but neglects his responsibility and does not provide leadership for the children, then the mature, feminine mother will make every effort to do so, yet in a way that says to the husband, ‘I do not defy you, I love you and long with all my heart that you were with me in this spiritual and moral commitment, leading me and the family to God.’”

How is what I do different from the way men provide for and protect their families? Why is male leadership in the home reflected in the church leadership and females doing exactly the same thing is disregarded?

Certainly my situation is not ideal. However, men sometimes do die before their wives, leaving the wives responsible for their family.

Maybe older single women should not draw attention to themselves and just allow the church to pretend that we do not exist.