Tim Keller has been pastoring Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York City since he planted it in 1989, and the church reflects the city’s demographics: over 80% of the people are single. So Keller has a lot of experience shepherding singles.
His new book The Meaning of Marriage includes a chapter entitled “Singleness and Marriage.” It concludes with “some practical counsel for marriage seekers,” which unpacks eight guidelines (pp. 207–18):
- Recognize that there are seasons for not seeking marriage.
- Understand the “gift of singleness.”
- Get more serious about seeking marriage as you get older.
- Do not allow yourself deep emotional involvement with a non-believing person.
- Feel “attraction” in the most comprehensive sense.
- Don’t let things get too passionate too quickly.
- However, also don’t become a faux spouse for someone who won’t commit to you.
- Get and submit to lots of community input.